17 Comments
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wrongdimension's avatar

Baby Jesus’s balls this is good!

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Nick Winney's avatar

this also great! said with an irish accent!

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Sandolore Sykes's avatar

This hurt.

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Zani D's avatar

Thank you and I'm sorry ❤️‍🩹

The unedited version is a lot more painful. He's much, much worse as an adult in Lost and Found.

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Sandolore Sykes's avatar

Isn’t it worse when he isn’t horrible quite yet? Isn’t it the way he is still a victim that makes it cut? It’s the hope that makes me really feel it… you know?

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Zani D's avatar

I agree with all of this.

I think I mentioned this in another comment somewhere but Momma's "socials" are parties catered to pedophiles and I wasn't ready to unleash those sections of the story on Substack. The descriptions are subtle but it still hits like a wrecking ball and it wasn't important enough to the larger plot. The night Momma brought home the two women was enough to describe his psychology for Lost and Found. What he does at the end of the unedited story at one of the "socials" is pretty horrific and cuts much, much deeper.

In Lost and Found he brutally victimizes someone he's supposed to be helping. So in that context he's very much worse and it's the victim in that story you're feeling for. I've put her through hell and I'm not even halfway through the story yet. 😅

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Sandolore Sykes's avatar

yes, this sounds brutal. Isn't it weird how brutality works worse when it's written around, when it's suggested, or when it's off stage? Or worse! When you have to figure it out yourself?

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Spencer D.W.'s avatar

I liked it and I say that despite it not being my normal thing to read. The conclusion has me interested.

Biggest critism would be to maybe spend a little more time with some of the more intense parts. just a little. Have that sickness and tension build a bit like your about to vomit. if that makes any sense.

all in all, quite good! good job homie!

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Zani D's avatar

you're absolutely correct.

it's heavily redacted, so much of the sickness you're referring to is in those missing paragraphs.

Momma's "socials" are events tailored to pedophiles. By the time he fell in love, he was completely broken.

I wasn't ready to unleash that kind of writing onto Substack, it isn't crucial enough to the larger Lost And Found storyline to justify it's existence, if that makes sense?

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Nick Winney's avatar

Absolutely superb 😍

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Will Boucher's avatar

goddamn! what a great read!

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NJ Fiction's avatar

This was delightful in the saddest way!

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

Average former catholic experience. 10/10

Damn, Zani, this is good. How did I miss this?? This is swimming in voice

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Ricardo Alberto's avatar

Shit. This is dark. And good. 😈 That line about destroying something beautiful is what the Norton character says to the Leto character in Fight Club, is it no? 👌🏼

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Ricardo Alberto's avatar

You’re the second person to recommend me that one by Gaiman. Gotta check it out. And I must see that movie too. Thanks! Keep it up, I dig what you’re doing. 🤘🏼

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Zani D's avatar

Thank you so much! Abdiel is a very dark character. He's far beyond the salvation he's searching for. 

As far as Fight Club is concerned honestly I'll have to take your word for it, it's been so long since I've seen it I totally forgot Leto played Angel Face. 

(Don't tell my editor he'll never let me live this down)

What actually came to mind when I was writing this was Mr Croup and Mr Vandemar from Gaiman's *Neverwhere*, a scene where Mr Croup explains the artistry and value of a priceless figurine from the Tang dynasty before eating it. 

The movie "Kiss The Girls" also came to mind, where a serial killer collects talented women and claims to love them unless they break the rules. Then be breaks them.

Morgan Freeman and Cary Elwes. 

Be still my heart. 

I do see why Fight Club came to mind, but @Emil Ottoman would have to explain why the pathology doesn't quite fit.

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Zani D's avatar

I wasn't in your sphere yet. I'm slowly reposting my 2024 content because I realized a lot of my subscribers have been picked up this year. Some of my most important work was posted early on, like "Tyranny of Evil Men" and "Love Wins, Violence Provides".

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