I'm not gonna lie. I'm in a little awe. "Head hopping" is one of those "never do it because..." rules, but it works so well in this piece and it fits the chaotic nature of Nerisse. Like, even when we are in someone else's head with their voice coming out clear through the prose we remain with Nerisse because the structure matches her. Loving it!
Why does it not surprise me that I inadvertently broke another rule?
♤
Cannot stress how little I knew about what I was doing.
♤
Later in the series it leans on a more neutral narrative but it still jumps when a character other than Nerisse is leading and there's a lot of reasons I think this is happening but it's very confusing.
♤
I think Nerisse doesn't get much of a narrative voice because she's such a stupidly complex character. I should not have done this to myself while learning craft for the first time. It's all chaos. 😆
I don't know, ducks, seems to me like you have a knack for breaking the rules in the best ways. What was it you did, second perspective future perfect tense? I think 'the rules' likely just make you specifically good at breaking them better.
Oh yeah, I don't have any formal training either. I'm (largely) self-taught, until recently
I like this. Strong tension. The scene moves. But it’s hard to tell whose head we’re in. Is this Rufus’ show? Is this his cold, surgical view of Nerisse as a problem to solve, a curiosity to dissect? Or are we in Nerisse’s jittery, panic-attack brain, seeing Rufus as a giant shadow ready to crush her?
Unless this split perspective is on purpose ( brilliantly done)... I still need to read the rest of the series to figure this out
The split perspective is intentional but inconsistent.
The chaos that comes from knowing NOTHING about writing until Emil Ottoman put me through theory bootcamp for my project "Charms".
Nerisse, Rufus, Grim, and Bishop all get a moment in the perspective spotlight so I could help introduce their personalities to an audience reading the same characters from different writers.
Part 3 is also short. Part 4 is the one you read that kinda gave part of the story away? But yeah working with Emil was a fuckin treat.
This input is invaluable. Lost and Found is my first actual story. If I wasn't able to nail down the perspectives and narratives as clearly as I thought, then that's something I need to know so I can make character tone more of a priority when I choose to approach the story from those angles.
Yes, you understood what I was *trying* to do, but if it landed sideways then I can do better.
I am a masochist.
There's a reason Emil left almost 400 comments on Charms.
Compliments are nice but I am a glutton for constructive criticism.
Shit, I'll even hear "this is terrible" with an unflinching smile if it comes with something useful attached.
I'll take notes from anyone willing to offer them.
But there's a reason Emil is my only editor.
I know for an absolute fact that I can trust him to be honest without wasting time sparing my feelings.
Writing is personal to me, but so is improvement.
I'm here for any and all opinions, the more candid the better.
Amazing as always. Love this
I'm not gonna lie. I'm in a little awe. "Head hopping" is one of those "never do it because..." rules, but it works so well in this piece and it fits the chaotic nature of Nerisse. Like, even when we are in someone else's head with their voice coming out clear through the prose we remain with Nerisse because the structure matches her. Loving it!
Why does it not surprise me that I inadvertently broke another rule?
♤
Cannot stress how little I knew about what I was doing.
♤
Later in the series it leans on a more neutral narrative but it still jumps when a character other than Nerisse is leading and there's a lot of reasons I think this is happening but it's very confusing.
♤
I think Nerisse doesn't get much of a narrative voice because she's such a stupidly complex character. I should not have done this to myself while learning craft for the first time. It's all chaos. 😆
I don't know, ducks, seems to me like you have a knack for breaking the rules in the best ways. What was it you did, second perspective future perfect tense? I think 'the rules' likely just make you specifically good at breaking them better.
Oh yeah, I don't have any formal training either. I'm (largely) self-taught, until recently
Next:
https://open.substack.com/pub/ninestoryhotel/p/lost-and-found-pt-3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=h5x57
Previous:
https://open.substack.com/pub/ninestoryhotel/p/lost-and-found?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=h5x57
I like this. Strong tension. The scene moves. But it’s hard to tell whose head we’re in. Is this Rufus’ show? Is this his cold, surgical view of Nerisse as a problem to solve, a curiosity to dissect? Or are we in Nerisse’s jittery, panic-attack brain, seeing Rufus as a giant shadow ready to crush her?
Unless this split perspective is on purpose ( brilliantly done)... I still need to read the rest of the series to figure this out
The split perspective is intentional but inconsistent.
The chaos that comes from knowing NOTHING about writing until Emil Ottoman put me through theory bootcamp for my project "Charms".
Nerisse, Rufus, Grim, and Bishop all get a moment in the perspective spotlight so I could help introduce their personalities to an audience reading the same characters from different writers.
Part 3 is also short. Part 4 is the one you read that kinda gave part of the story away? But yeah working with Emil was a fuckin treat.
Parts 5 and 6 are when I lost my damn mind.
Very well…forget what I said …and I’ll get to the rest
Forget what you said?
Absolutely not.
This input is invaluable. Lost and Found is my first actual story. If I wasn't able to nail down the perspectives and narratives as clearly as I thought, then that's something I need to know so I can make character tone more of a priority when I choose to approach the story from those angles.
Yes, you understood what I was *trying* to do, but if it landed sideways then I can do better.
I am a masochist.
There's a reason Emil left almost 400 comments on Charms.
Compliments are nice but I am a glutton for constructive criticism.
Shit, I'll even hear "this is terrible" with an unflinching smile if it comes with something useful attached.
I'll take notes from anyone willing to offer them.
But there's a reason Emil is my only editor.
I know for an absolute fact that I can trust him to be honest without wasting time sparing my feelings.
Writing is personal to me, but so is improvement.
I'm here for any and all opinions, the more candid the better.